Beware: venting ahead
Just a note of warning for the causal blog reader. This is me being frustrated at the world and struggling with issues. I apologize for my venting.
We live in a crazy, messed up world. You would think that I would know this by now, and quite well, but yet it never ceases to surprise me what goes on here in our own country and all over the world. Sometimes I just want to give up and determine that there is no hope for anyone. There are simply too many problems and not enough people willing to fix them. How can anything be stopped or fixed? You tell us that there is hope in You, God. And I believe that too. You are the hope for the world. But can't things be fixed more quickly? Why do so many have to suffer before the slow change? I have spent my afternoon looking at pictures of people with screws and bolts in their bones, watches blown through their necks, shattered body parts full of shrapnel; hearing about people killed and then ignored; learning about young children forced in prostitution and sold to sick, perverted American men wanting sex. And here I sit at my computer on a beautiful college campus, attending school at a place that now costs over $30,000 (although thankfully that's not what I pay . . .), being blessed with countless things. Sometimes I just want to say "screw it" and leave this sick, twisted country and fly to Chiang Mai and get Kosharah and we can go live in Taunggyi and have our orphanage there and just spend the rest of our lives loving little kids who have no one else to love or take care of them. But leaving America will not help . . .the whole world has problems. I just want to help . . .but it must be done one step at a time. The world will not be changed overnight, and I know that. I just get so frustrated sometimes. I'm here earning my degree to be certified as a teacher as a first step. That will hopefully take me where I want to go. It just takes so long . . .
I want to help the world now, God . . .What can I do to help this crazy place we live in? Please, grant me the patience I need to follow through with this degree and finish what I came here to start. When I am frustrated, may I focus on You and the goals that You have placed before me. Help me to pray for the world and trust that You will take things from there. That is what I can do now: pray. May I keep that in my heart always. Do not let these struggles fade. As happy as I am here, as much as I love it, as thankful as I am for all of Your blessings, may I never be truly happy while I know that Your children are hurting. Complacency is the worst thing that I could succumb to while I know these things. Lord, stir up my heart and do not let it settle. The world cannot afford not to be prayed for. May I help how I can Lord, as one small person, trusting that You will use me in Your perfect time. . .
We live in a crazy, messed up world. You would think that I would know this by now, and quite well, but yet it never ceases to surprise me what goes on here in our own country and all over the world. Sometimes I just want to give up and determine that there is no hope for anyone. There are simply too many problems and not enough people willing to fix them. How can anything be stopped or fixed? You tell us that there is hope in You, God. And I believe that too. You are the hope for the world. But can't things be fixed more quickly? Why do so many have to suffer before the slow change? I have spent my afternoon looking at pictures of people with screws and bolts in their bones, watches blown through their necks, shattered body parts full of shrapnel; hearing about people killed and then ignored; learning about young children forced in prostitution and sold to sick, perverted American men wanting sex. And here I sit at my computer on a beautiful college campus, attending school at a place that now costs over $30,000 (although thankfully that's not what I pay . . .), being blessed with countless things. Sometimes I just want to say "screw it" and leave this sick, twisted country and fly to Chiang Mai and get Kosharah and we can go live in Taunggyi and have our orphanage there and just spend the rest of our lives loving little kids who have no one else to love or take care of them. But leaving America will not help . . .the whole world has problems. I just want to help . . .but it must be done one step at a time. The world will not be changed overnight, and I know that. I just get so frustrated sometimes. I'm here earning my degree to be certified as a teacher as a first step. That will hopefully take me where I want to go. It just takes so long . . .
I want to help the world now, God . . .What can I do to help this crazy place we live in? Please, grant me the patience I need to follow through with this degree and finish what I came here to start. When I am frustrated, may I focus on You and the goals that You have placed before me. Help me to pray for the world and trust that You will take things from there. That is what I can do now: pray. May I keep that in my heart always. Do not let these struggles fade. As happy as I am here, as much as I love it, as thankful as I am for all of Your blessings, may I never be truly happy while I know that Your children are hurting. Complacency is the worst thing that I could succumb to while I know these things. Lord, stir up my heart and do not let it settle. The world cannot afford not to be prayed for. May I help how I can Lord, as one small person, trusting that You will use me in Your perfect time. . .
posted by Beanie at
5:18 PM
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